I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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