I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
