I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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