new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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