No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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