Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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