In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
