honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
