ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
