Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
