is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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