That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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