will power is for people who don't want to get laid
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we're making bets on your personal life
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
