I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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