Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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