respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
