you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
