Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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