What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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