Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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