I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
