Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
