Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
