so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
