Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
