NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
