Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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