Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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