Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
