You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
