he shaved USA in his pubs
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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