remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
