..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
