I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
