seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize