btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
