I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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