Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
