I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
