dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
