it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
