Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
