I hope mine doesn't look like that
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
