once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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