Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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