he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
