He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize