i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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