My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she peed on how many people?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
