Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
