O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
