Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
