I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
