what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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