Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
