I think I won the penis lottery.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
