I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
People in love make me want to vomit
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
