yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
