so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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