I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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