just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
