Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize