Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize